When one passes on, one†hopes¬†to be memorialized in some sort of touching, or poignant way. At the very least, one would expect their loved ones to not completely, irrevocably muss up the corporeal manifestation of their worldly legacy.
Unfortunately, Nicole Campbell wasn¬ít so lucky. This year, Twitter user Jen D¬íAngelo (@jenlikespizza) uploaded a picture of memorial bench memorandum mistake that has English teachers around the country cackling with glee.
Sorry but I love this badly phrased memorial bench so much pic.twitter.com/oe6gj6BUEz— Jen D'Angelo (@jenlikespizza) April 29, 2018
The bench was simply trying to let the world know that Nicole Campbell couldn¬ít see a dog without smiling. Understandable. However, the atrocious wording here castsNicole Campbell in a far crueler light, implying that she:
A) Had never in her life seen a dog, and
B) Never smiled.
Poor Nicole Campbell.
Twitter ¬ó the home of the world¬ís top roasters¬†¬ó found the bench hysterical.
Why didn't someone just show this poor woman a dog? ūüôĀ— Jett Vee-riosa (@rubydoomsday) April 30, 2018
can't help but think if she saw a dog she might have smiled— Richard W. Woodley (@the5thColumnist) April 30, 2018
Classic cat lady.— ben [value optimized out] (@b_jammin_) April 30, 2018
The lesson here: Going through life without ever seeing a dog can be a little depressing, although a remarkable achievement.— Carl Clark (@cfclark) April 29, 2018
That sounds like someone horribly cursed in a Hans Christian Andersen story— Tom Scudder (@tomscud) April 29, 2018
Anyone who went thru life without seeing a dog or smiling deserves a bench named after him.— Sun Chron Politics (@TSCPolitics) April 30, 2018
"Adult sees dog for the first time" would be a good acting exercise.— Derek Ahlswede (@derekahlswede) April 29, 2018
Nicole does sound like a lovely person— ???? DB McWeeberton ???? (@DBMcWeeberton) April 30, 2018
yasss love it. poor nicole; dogs and smiling are awesome.— sap (@fro0tbat) April 30, 2018
The official Twitter account of Ginseng English ¬ó an online company that teaches people how to speak English ¬ó joined the conversation to break down precisely where Nicole Campbell¬ís bench-makers went wrong.
So letís look at exactly what the problem is here.— Ginseng English (@ginsenglish) April 30, 2018
Right now, ďandĒ connects two verbs. It sounds like Nicole did two things:
1. ????????Nicole never saw a dog.
2. ????????Nicole didnít smile.
What they are actually trying to say is that Nicole really loved dogs. Every time she saw a dog, she smiled. 100% of the time that she saw a dog, she smiled.— Ginseng English (@ginsenglish) April 30, 2018
One way to say this is,— Ginseng English (@ginsenglish) April 30, 2018
There was never a time when she saw a dog and didnít smile.
This works because ďsaw a dogĒ and ďdidnít smileĒ are now connected to ďa timeĒ (that never happened) instead of ďNicole.Ē
But thatís not a very beautiful sentence. They want something shorter. I think our best option would be to remove ďand.Ē We could say:— Ginseng English (@ginsenglish) April 30, 2018
...who never saw a dog without smiling.
Here the smiling is directly connected to seeing a dog.
There is one more problem here, that @costachess notices. Right now we have:— Ginseng English (@ginsenglish) April 30, 2018
Who never saw a dog and didnít smile.
Capital letter and period. It looks like a sentence. But this isnít supposed to be a full sentence, right?
ďWho never saw...Ē is a relative clause describing ďNicole Campbell.Ē— Ginseng English (@ginsenglish) April 30, 2018
The correct punctuation would be:
In loving memory of Nicole Campbell, who never saw a dog and didnít smile.
Notice that this still isnít a complete sentence. It is common to engrave memorials with ďin memory of...Ē There is an implied subject here:— Ginseng English (@ginsenglish) April 30, 2018
[This bench is] in memory of Nicole...
Here¬ís to you, Nicole Campbell. May wherever you are now including many dogs and spellcheckers.